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Yes Minister — Season 1
Bernard Woolley: "Minister, allow me to present Sir Humphrey Appleby, Permanent Under Secretary of State and head of the DAA."
Jim Hacker: "Who else is in this department?"
Frank Weisel: "Did you know that Martin has got the Foreign Office, Jack has got Health, and Fred has got Energy."
Bernard Woolley: "It used to be said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two kinds of Ministers: one sort that folds up instantly, the other sort goes round and round in circles."
Bernard Woolley: "Well, yes, Sir...I mean, it [open government] is the Minister's policy after all."
Jim Hacker: "Burandan Airways, they are doing well. How many planes have they got?"
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, do you think it is a good idea to issue a statement?" [as a response to the planned speech of the President of Buranda urging the Scots and Irish to fight against English oppression]
Jim Hacker: "Martin, what's all this about Buranda?"
Jim Hacker: "What am I going to do with all this correspondence?"
Jim Hacker: "Bernard, this government is here to govern, not merely preside like our predecessors did. When a country is going downhill, it is time for someone to get into the driving seat, and put his foot on the accelerator."
Sir Humphrey: "British Leyland measure their success by the size of their profits, or to be more accurate, they measure their failure by the size of their losses."
Sir Humphrey: "Politicians like to panic, they need activity. It's their substitute for achievement."
Sir Humphrey: "Ladysmith House is top secret."
[Quoting an article in the Express about the fact that Inland Revenue has more employees than the Royal Navy]
Sir Humphrey: "The public doesnt know anything about wasting government money, we're the experts."