Yes Minister — Season 3

| YM 3.5 | The Bed of Nails | 1982-12-09 | | YM 3.6 | The Whisky Priest | 1982-12-16 | | YM 3.7 | The Middle-Class Rip-Off | 1982-12-23 |

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[Sir Humphrey explaining why he is dressed as an Arab at the Qumrani reception]

Jim Hacker: "Are you saying that winking at corruption is government policy?"

Jim Hacker: "Will you answer a direct question?"

Jim Hacker: "But this [communiqué] may bear no relation to what we actually say."

Jim Hacker: "It is not like the Financial Times to print a [bribery] story like this unless there is something behind it. Is there something behind it, Humphrey?"

Jim Hacker: "Sir Mark thinks there maybe votes in it. And if so, I don't intend to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Jim Hacker: "But if I succeed, this could be my Falkland Islands."

Jim Hacker: "Clearly, the title Transport Supremo is one that is not worth having. We must endeavor to change the Prime Minister's mind."

Jim Hacker: "And after all, we do need a Transport Policy."

Sir Humphrey: "The ship of state, Bernard, is the only ship that leaks from the top."

Sir Humphrey: "My job is to carry out government policy."

Jim Hacker: "But you told me that you were telling me on a personal level?"

Jim Hacker: "Would you be surprised, for instance, if a British aircraft carrier turned up in the Central African Republic?"

Jim Hacker: "Remember Churchill, the wilderness years. He found out about our military inadequacy and Hitler's war machine from army officers. So all the time he was in the wilderness, he was able to leak stories to the press and embarrass the government. I could do that."

Jim Hacker: "So, is this [conversation] highly confidential?"

Bernard Woolley: "Now, may I just have your approval for this Local Government Allowances Amendment Number 2 for this year's regulations."

Jim Hacker: "I thought these planning inspectors were supposed to be impartial?"

Jim Hacker: "Nothing wrong with subsidizing sports: sport is educational."

Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, subsidy is for art...for culture. It is not to be given to what the people want, it is for what the people don't want but ought to have."

Sir Humphrey: "When you see vast buildings, huge staff and massive budgets, what do you conclude?"