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Yes Prime Minister — Season 1
Sir Humphrey: "With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe."
Jim Hacker: "Nice to be able to reward one's old allies. Was Ron Jones pleased with his peerage?"
Sir Humphrey: "Don't you believe that Great Britain should have the best?"
Jim Hacker: "Tell me, General, where is the Hot Line?"
Bernard Woolley: "That is why that torpedo landed on Sandwich Golf Course."
Sir Humphrey: "You know what happens: nice young lady comes up to you. Obviously you want to create a good impression, you don't want to look a fool, do you? So she starts asking you some questions: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the number of young people without jobs?"
Sir Humphrey: "It's clear that the Committee has agreed that your new policy is really an excellent plan. But in view of the doubts being expressed, may I propose that I recall that after careful consideration, the considered view of the Committee was that, while they considered that the proposal met with broad approval in principle, that some of the principles were sufficiently fundamental in principle, and some of the considerations so complex and finely balanced in practice that in principle it was proposed that the sensible and prudent practice would be to submit the proposal for more detailed consideration, laying stress on the essential continuity of the new proposal with existing principles, the principal of the principal arguments which the proposal proposes and propounds for their approval. In principle."
Godfrey: "Will you be wearing those glasses?" [during the television broadcast]
Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?"
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, who is it who has the last word about the government of Britain? The British Cabinet or the American President?"
Sir Humphrey: "Notwithstanding the fact that your proposal could conceivably encompass certain concomitant benefits of a marginal and peripheral relevance, there is a countervailing consideration of infinitely superior magnitude involving your personal complicity and corroborative malfeasance, with a consequence that the taint and stigma of your former associations and diversions could irredeemably and irretrievably invalidate your position and culminate in public revelations and recriminations of a profoundly embarrassing and ultimately indefensible character."
Jim Hacker: "Humphrey, we are talking about 100,000 deaths a year."
Sir Humphrey: "Taxation isn't about what you need."
Jim Hacker: "These figures are just guesses."
Permanent Secretary for Health: "It will be different if the government were a team, but in fact they are a loose confederation of warring tribes."
Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will, in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication, and culminate in a condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and co-ordinated discharge of the functions of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."
Jim Hacker: "Bernard, I want you to put Dorothy back into her old office."
Jim Hacker: "People can wait in the lobby or in the state room."
Sir Frank Gordon: "Ah, when I say not overstretched, I was of course talking in a sense of total cumulative loading taken globally, rather than in respect of certain individual and essentially anomalous responsibilities that, logically speaking, are not consonant or harmonious with the broad spectrum of intermeshing and inseparable function, and could indeed be said to place an excessive and supererogative burden on the office, where considered in relation to the comparatively exiguous advantages of their overall centralisation."
Jim Hacker: "Why did you allow Sir Humphrey to come in here when I explicitly told you not to?"